Let’s be honest – we’ve all been there. You ask someone for feedback on your presentation, poster, or draft manuscript, and what do you get?
“You need to change this.”
“This part isn’t good.”
“This should be improved.”
Sound familiar?
In science, we’re trained to spot errors. We’re practically conditioned to focus on what’s wrong – and to point it out. That skill is crucial for improving research, no doubt. But here’s the catch: when it comes to giving feedback to our colleagues (or students, or supervisors), this approach can be incredibly damaging.
In fact, what often gets overlooked is that most of the work we’re reviewing is actually really good. Yet we rarely say that out loud. We dive straight into what’s broken. The result? A toxic feedback culture that diminishes trust and motivation, damages relationships and intensifies imposter syndrome – mostly for the receiver, but also for the giver.
In our workshops, we ask participants to try something different.
Step 1: Start with what’s good.
Before you dive into what needs fixing, take a moment to identify 2–3 things you genuinely appreciated. Was the argument clear? Did the visuals support the story? Was the conclusion impactful? Say it out loud. Be specific.
Step 2: Offer constructive ideas for improvement.
Now – and only now – offer your suggestions for what could be better. Again, be specific. “The structure is a bit confusing” isn’t helpful. Try: “You might want to introduce the motivation earlier – it would make your results easier to follow.”
And here’s the really important part:
Be careful with the word “but.”
You know how it goes. Someone gives you a compliment and you immediately brace for the real feedback. “I liked your slides… but I think the story wasn’t clear.”
Boom. The compliment’s forgotten. The “but” just wiped it out.
Instead, try using “and” – or just skip the connector altogether. Like this:
“I think you did a great job motivating your project – I especially liked how you explained the broader impact. You could improve the flow by putting the motivation earlier, and then presenting your approach to solving the problem.”
Suddenly, it’s not a compliment followed by a criticism. It’s just feedback. Helpful, balanced, and far more likely to be well received.
Our simple feedback recipe:
- State what was good.
- AND offer ideas for improvement.
That’s it. That’s the shift.
And if you’re on the receiving end of feedback?
- Listen. Don’t interrupt – just hear what’s being said.
- Paraphrase. Summarise what you understood: “So what you’re saying is…?”
- Say thanks. Even if it’s not always easy – Feedback is a gift.
A healthier feedback culture doesn’t take much. We invite you to practise giving feedback like this. You might just notice a shift – not only in how others respond to you, but in how you feel about yourself, too.
